Start with your heart

How do you make sure that your words will lead you to getting what you most desire?

Sometimes things that start as simple casual discussion, may end up as hot fight between people who love each other. This is what can be called failed communication. It is unfortunate that big corporates may die due to failed communication, even big the fight in most family can be traced to a failed communication. Why do this happen?

When the stake is high and there are differing opinions, most people tend to forget about what they most want in their heart and begin to a journey of trying to prove that they are better than the other persons. They begin to argue in order to win and maintain their integrity. They now want to prove that they are smarter than the other person. As they follow this route, they may use whatever tools available in their disposal and try to win over the other person. If the initial discussion was started because you wanted love, care or support of the other person, where you are now is making sure that, you are not getting the very thing you wanted the most.

Something you need to start with, when dealing with issues in communication is to look at your heart with honestly. What do you really want? What kind of communication or talk that can get you what you want? Before trying to change other people’s behaviour and choice of words, you need to change first. You need to keep your focus on what you really want, do things and say words that will lead you into getting it. This might require you to forgo some of your rights, withhold some words, and look at the best way of saying what you wanted to say without hurting anyone. Even if you think someone else is in the wrong, it will help you a great deal if you start with yourself and your heart, what do you really want. Winning the person might be better than winning the argument.

Jas 4:1-3 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? (2) You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. (3) You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”

Start with your heart. From Simtandile Dlepuma. Stay blessed.

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