Create a common understanding

When a person has just said or done something that irritates, or makes you angry, watch out how you deal with it. If you respond with violence, or silence, they might also fight back through their own silence or violence. Your aim should be not to lose people out, but bring them back to the conversation.

When you realize that something has just gone wrong in your conversation with someone, you need to do few things that can restore meaningful discussion. You might need to GET OUT, FIX IT, and COME BACK.

In GET OUT, you need to get out of the main topic, and deal with the personal issues that have just happened. 1. State the facts that you have just observed and try to understand why the person has just said what he said or did what he did, or why is he behaving the way he does. In most cases, the person will blame you or point his reason for his behaviour or reaction to you. 2. Allow the person to say his feelings, views, observations about you without disrupting him or her even if their facts are wrong. 3. When the person has been able to say everything in his mind or heart, you need to respond through either by apologizing, contrasting, or by creating a mutual purpose.

This kind of response will help rebuild mutual respect or mutual purpose. The details and skills on how to apologize, contract or creating mutual purpose will come in the following article. Your goal should be to create a common understanding which will allow you and the other person to work towards a common goal.

1Th 5:14-15 Says “Now we exhort you, brothers, warn those who are unruly, comfort the faint-hearted, support the weak, be patient toward all. (15) See that none gives evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue the good, both towards one another and towards all.”

Create common understanding. From Simtandile Dlepuma. Stay blessed.

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