How do you handle the misunderstanding that just happen with your team members or close friend?

It is common that a mere talk can turn things sour in your conversation with people. When there is a misunderstanding people will resort to what they know best. They will respond with violence or silence. When this happen, it is important not to leave things as they are, but do your best to resolve them quickly. You need to do your best to create and restore an environment of mutual purpose and mutual respect.

We can use the three skills to restore mutual respect and mutual purpose. You will need to GET OUT of the main discussion point and do either one of these. Apologise, Contrast or Create a Mutual Purpose.

  1. Apologise when necessary. You need to apologise only when it is necessary. Apology is needed if you have made a mistake, and hurt someone. It might have not been your intention, but you made a mistake base on your misunderstanding. You need therefore apologise and indicate why you made that mistake. It is important that the apology should be sincere with commitment not to repeat it.
  2. Contrast when necessary. Sometimes people might be hurt by what you said or did because of their misunderstanding of your intentions. In this case you don’t need to apologise but you need to correct the misunderstanding. It is important to show the people what you did not mean to do and what you meant to do. You do this because you still want to pursue your original intentions with them. As you clarify your position you will restore the mutual respect, and people will support and agree with you.
  3. Create a Mutual Purpose. Sometimes the disagreement happens because people feel that what you want to do will make them not to achieve their goals. They might be thinking that your goal and their goals are quite different, and supporting your goals will make them loose on theirs. In this case you need to be skilful in moving the conversation to a higher level. It is possible that you can find a mutual purpose or what you both want at a higher level. You then move discussion to that level. The aim now will be to look at what you both want instead of your individual wants.

These negotiation skills can help you a lot and save you and your family or your team from a lot of unnecessary pains and disasters. Once you have restored/FIX mutual respect and mutual purpose, you can come back to the conversation. It would not help to continue with conversation when there is misunderstanding and there is no mutual respect and mutual purpose.

1Pe 5:5 Says “Likewise, younger ones, be subject to older ones, and all being subject to one another. Put on humility. For God resists proud ones, but He gives grace to the humble.”

GET OUT AND FIX IT. From Simtandile Dlepuma. Stay blessed.

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