There may be a number of contributing factors as far as the trust issue is concerned. As we have alluded in the previous talk, the principle of honesty or integrity may also be one determining factor for the principle of trust. Positive contributing factors pertaining to trust:
(1) openness or honesty – being open, about just everything, in your marriage relationship extinguishes unnecessary flames that may emanate from the past life choices we do not admire or emanating from the life events that we may not have control over.
(2) Good communication – when you have adopted a good communication culture in your marriage, trust grows in leaps and bounds.
(3) Love – I believe that love strengthens trust. Apostle Peter writes ” Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” – 1Peter 4:8.
Negative contributing factors as far as trust issues are concerned:
(1) keeping secretes – when secretes show up, they normally cause harm in a marriage relationship.
(2) Poor communication – taking crucial decisions without consulting with your spouse may lead to mistrust, for example, decisions pertaining to finances may be catastrophic when it comes to the trust principle.
(3) Hearsay – this aspect is somewhat linked to communication. It is important, in a marriage relationship, to learn how to approach conversations because believing and accepting everything you hear ( hearsay ) about your spouse, without open communication, may destroy your marriage. Again this talks to the first contributing factor ( keeping secrets ) – we need to know that it is common for some people, when we progress in life stages, to dig some files about us from the archives.
So, we need to open up in marriage and if it happens we hear things about our spouses, let us be wise as we approach such information. This goes back to prayer as you deal with your marital affairs. As the saying goes “life happens”, there are life choices we cannot reverse and life events that we don’t have control over. So, honesty and proper communication ( how you respond to matters arising both from within and outside your marriage ) will help you maintain trust in your marriage.
From Sipho Jeke.
God’s blessings to you all.