How do you deal with people when they misunderstand you and become violent against you?
The normal response is to respond back with either violence of silence. Such response does not have a good record of producing great results. Instead of defending yourself and justifying your actions later by claiming that the other person started the fight, there is still a better way of handling the situation such that you can rise to greatness together with the person who was fighting you. Your aim is not to win against him or her, but it is to win him or her so that you can rise and win together.
The journey to winning together should start with you practising winning together skills. You need to practise introspecting your heart and get ready to listen. What do you really want? Encourage others to also trace the desires of their hearts. What do they really want? Sometimes our actions might be our biggest enemy ensuring that our desires become not achievable. Enquiry skills might help you to fix yourself and your partners or friends. Follow these steps to help the process of enquiry.
- Ask. You need to ask people about their facts, emotions, and interpretations of what they saw or heard. What meaning did they give to what they saw or heard?
- Reflect. You need to reflect their emotions and feeling. What did they feel when they saw what they saw or heard what they heard? Their emotions might have been justifiable based on their understanding and emotions at the time.
- Paraphrase. Repeat what they tell you using your own words to confirm your understanding with them.
- Educate. You need to add additional meanings to the pool of knowledge if the person is still angry. A person might be angry based on his current limited information, additional knowledge might increase his horizon and begin to have a wider view and perspective.
Using skills and tool that win back a person can help you a great deal to avoid always starting from scratch with new people. You can work on those you already have, build them up and win together with them. While misunderstanding cannot be avoided, we can grow stronger after each case. Don’t waste your pain, but let your pain benefit you as a team.
Rom 8:28 Says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Work towards winning together. From Simtandile Dlepuma. Stay blessed.